How to Handle and Control Temper Tantrums in Toddlers?

Child Temper tantrums start at around 18 months. One reason for this is toddlers want to express themselves, but find it difficult. They feel frustrated, and the frustration comes out as a tantrum. We as a parent can handle temper tantrums.

Harleen Kaur
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How to Handle and Control Temper Tantrums in Toddlers.

How to Handle and Control Temper Tantrums in Toddlers.

A temper tantrum is when a child has an unplanned outburst of anger and frustration. Tantrums can be physical, verbal, or both. Your child may act out ver disruptively and generally display unpleasant behaviors. Usually, they’re acting like this because they want or need something they can’t express with words.

Temper tantrums usually start at around 18 months and are very common in toddlers. Hitting and biting are common, too. One reason for this is toddlers want to express themselves, but find it difficult. They feel frustrated, and the frustration comes out as a tantrum.

What Causes Temper Tantrums in Kids?

  • Frustration.
  • Wanting attention.
  • Wanting something (such as a treat or toy).
  • Avoiding doing something (such as cleaning up or leaving the park).
  • Hunger.
  • Tiredness.
  • A big cause of toddler temper tantrums is the conflict they feel. They usually fail to explain how they feel, so they burst out instead.

What Should I Do During Child's Temper Tantrums:

Try these strategies during your child’s temper tantrum:

Find a distraction: If you sense a tantrum starts, but it hasn’t become a full-blown outburst, try to distract your child. Point out something interesting or engage them in an activity.

 If you sense a tantrum starts, but it hasn’t become a full-blown outburst,

For instance: If your child is using a mobile phone, and wants to continue irrespective of you saying not to, You should know your child is going to throw temper tantrums as soon as you will poke them again. It is time to think of a distraction pre-hand like saying let's go for a car ride with Daddy, or You might try, Why don't you teach me to play with your new toys?

Stay calm: Once your child is mid-tantrum, don’t threaten, lecture or argue with them. Doing so only makes the tantrum worse. Later, when your child is quiet and calm, talk to them about their earlier behavior.

Don't Respond at that moment: When kids constantly become demanding and rude, it’s best not to respond to them. Responding to them gives them control over our actions and they feel they can continue being in authority. Sometimes, silence is the best treatment for a moody and stubborn kid. It’s wrong to glorify them and their actions.

Keep them safe: Remove any dangerous objects near them. Consider holding your child, so they don’t hurt themselves. If your child is completely out of control, bring them to a safe space until they calm down. Use a “time-out” if necessary, placing them in a room away from the TV and other distractions.

Stay Close: You can't stop a tantrum. Stay nearby and if needed move them somewhere safe, quiet, and calm. Stay close and stay calm. It is important that your child knows that you are still there and with them – this might be by saying something reassuring or maintaining eye contact with them.

child tantrums

What Should I do to Avoid and Manage Child's Temper Tantrums

Make them understand:

It isn’t actually tough to make a child understand the result of their actions. Have a one-to-one talk, and tell them stories of how their behavior could impact them and others around them. Spend time with them and keep them out of the virtual world to make them understand human values. You will soon see a positive change in their attitude.

Brainstorm alternative solutions. Guide them to better ways of dealing with the negative feelings. For example, if they just hit a playmate in a squabble over a stuffed animal, you might ask them, "How do you think hitting Caroline made her feel?" and "Can you think of a better way to get the teddy bear?" When a toddler takes part in coming up with a solution, they're far more likely to carry it out.

Set a good example and Behave: Children look up to their parents and watch their behavior. Model healthy strategies when you’re upset or frustrated. Your child will begin to copy your behavior.

 Adopt Positive Parenting: 

Techniques of positive parenting could shape a kid’s mind early on and make them better human beings. 

adopt positive parenting

  • Praise/Reward your kid if they behave well for a day.
  • Trust them to do something on their own.
  • Indulge them in any kind of social work, despite the magnitude (like feeding a dog, greeting and donating to beggars, etc.)
  • Get the work done without exerting power over them ( use  ‘please’, ‘sorry’, and ‘thank you as often as possible to imbibe humility in them)
  • Forgive them and hug them when they have episodes of aggression while making repetitive efforts to put them into a routine of self-discipline.
  • Instill the faith to believe in the goodness of people. (But balance it with caution for people who do wrong).
  • Involve them in your daily activities like yoga, meditation, prayers, singing, or dance. It gives them a sense of belongingness while imprinting culture in their minds. It also acts as a therapy for aggressive behavior and helps calm them.
  • Don't insult them in front of everyone always criticize them in private and praise them in public.


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